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 Forum index » Archive » Archive: General » Old News & Rumors
[Trailhead] Join the IFILR
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Nighthawk
I Have 100 Cats and Smell of Wee


Joined: 14 Jul 2007
Posts: 4751
Location: Miami, Florida, USA, Earth

 [Trailhead] Join the IFILR
Garden gnomes need love, too.

It isn't often I receive an envelope addressed, quite literally, to David "Nighthawk" Flor...

Right this second I do not have the means to post images or scans of what I've received; I will attempt to do so later tonight. And the phone number is a Google Voice number that I am having a hard time hearing, so I'll do my best to get that recorded (Google Voice doesn't record outbound calls?!? And Skype crashed when dialing the number).


The envelope, as stated above came addressed to both my real and online names: David "Nighthawk" Flor.

The return address says, literally:

Quote:
THE IFILR
IF YOU'VE RECEIVED THS,
YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND US


I admit I don't... yet... but I'll get to that.

Inside the envelope is the following:

1)

A full-sized image of a green field, with the Travelocity gnome sticking his head out from the bottom left. In a typewrite font, it says:

Quote:
LIFE ON THE LAWN
GETTING YOU DOWN?

JOIN THE IFILR.

JOIN THE REVOLUTION.


2)

Another full page image looking like old-school propaganda posters, again with the Travleocity gnome on it. It also says

Quote:
JOIN THE IFILR

JOIN THE REVOLUTION.


3)

An image of what appears to be the flag of... somewhere. Three horizontal bars of red, green and blue. And a white column to one side that holds their insignia: A light blue logo that looks like the Soviet hammer and sickle, but instead of the hammer is the silhouette of the same garden gnome wearing a red hat.

4)

A full page image of the famous raising of the flag at Iwo Jima, inset in a blue frame.

The picture was modified: the flag that they're raising is the flag described above, and all the soldiers in the picture are wearing gnome hats.

Below it, in a cursive font, are the words:

Quote:
Raising the flag
at Iwo Gnoma


(At least that's what it appears to say; it's quite blurry)

5)

Two pages taped together so that they face each other. On the outside is a big "CONFIDENTIAL" stamp followed by handwritten text:

Quote:
BY ORDER

G. (illegible), IFILR
President (I assume... Handwriting's quite bad)

Do not break seal


And of course I broke the seal to reveal two pages...

5a)

A full page print of what appears to be a video test patten. Nothing out of the ordinary stands out.

5b)

A photocopy of a newspaper article. Until I can get a scan, I'll retype it:

(Note: I will try to be faithful to the grammatical errors)

Quote:
Gnomes stay on lawns, not roaming

By Ian A. Smith-Cummins

As GARDEN GNOME sales increase, airline sales decrease, and gnomes pay the cost.

An interesting rise in sales for garden gnomes has been recently reported by the Department of Agricultural Trinkets for the Advancement of Social Status.

As of last quarter, the average sales of garden gnomes and similar lawn decorations have risen 42%m and the large agricultural accessory corporation EnviroCorp has posted record profits.

This has been welcomed by all as contributing to the restoration of the global economy thanks to the purchasing power of those who bought into what economists are already calling The Great Gnome Boom.

Inanimate rights activists are rallying in the streets for support to set the bought gnomes "free" from their green, grassy prisons.

However, some unfortunate news regarding gnomes came to light yesterday, when the airline travel site Travelocity announced their bankruptcy and ending of services.

This once great company is speculated to have lost its prestige thanks to the recent reawakening of the Icelandic volcano, Eyjafjallajokull.

The ashes emanating from the volcano have once again blocked all flights, leading to a large profit gap for the company.

Travelocity, founded in 1996, ceases operations this wednesday. Due to this unfortunate turn of events, it seems that the Roaming Gnome(tm) will be the only gnome out of work.

Ian A. Smith-Cummins can be reached at (404) 555-1337


Below that, in an inset box, is a smaller article:

Quote:
EnviroCorp exec missing

A MISSING PERSONS report from Richard Dzubinski, a high-ranking executive of of agricultural decoration company EnviroCorp, was filed last week by his wife.

Reports say he was driving to a local warehouse to inspect new production machinery installed as a test for faster and cheaper manufacturing of gnomes.

No word on the topic has been heard from either his wife or EnviroCorp.

If you have any information that could help, please contact Austin R. Giddings at (404) 555-5859


Spoiler (Rollover to View):
Thanks for the initials "A.R.G." there... I would have never guessed this was a trailhead otherwise!


Razz

Along the left border of the article, in white, are written vertically the following words, in order from top to bottom. They appear to be from the advertisement to the left, but I'm just being thorough.

TWICKENHAM
ASHFORD
WEYBRIDGE
CROYDON
REIGATE
CHERTSEY
MOLESEY
SUTTON
RICHMOND

6)

A 3"x5" card with the following, handwritten:

Quote:
To confirm the receipt of your IFILR materials, please contact headquarters at (XXX) XXX-XXXX

Thanks!

Gnome (...)
President, IFILR


I'm having trouble with reading the last name, as it is written slightly different both places it appears. It looks like "A ... dty" on the card, which comparatively is much clearer.

NOTE: I am NOT including the phone number here yet... It's a Google Voice number with a recording, but I can hardly make the recording out. I need someone out there with recording capabilities for phone calls to get it, and after I can better understand what it's saying I'll leave them a message and eventually publicize the number. Until I can hear and understand the recording, as well as post it here, I'm not publishing the phone number.

I will continue to research this, see if I can get a website, but I did post this in a hurry.

Again, if you have a means to record a phone call, let me know.

And, before you ask, I don't have a black light...
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"Omne ignotum pro magnifico"

PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 6:10 pm
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Nighthawk
I Have 100 Cats and Smell of Wee


Joined: 14 Jul 2007
Posts: 4751
Location: Miami, Florida, USA, Earth

Well THAT was simple enough...

http://www.ifilr.org/

They scanned some of the images for me:

http://ifilr.tumblr.com/


The video link appears to be broken on the "About" page, but I'll direct link it from the source:

http://ifilr.org/assets/audio/About.mp3
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"Omne ignotum pro magnifico"

PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 6:32 pm
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catherwood-offline
Guest


Nighthawk wrote:
Well THAT was simple enough...

http://www.ifilr.org/



I hate side-scrolling websites... i didn't realize there was stuff off my screen until i dug for the full image.
http://www.ifilr.org/assets/bg.jpg

PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 6:56 pm
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Nighthawk
I Have 100 Cats and Smell of Wee


Joined: 14 Jul 2007
Posts: 4751
Location: Miami, Florida, USA, Earth

I used "tab" to see it, not mentioning looking at the source.

It's not the horizontal length that bothers me... It's that there's no scrollbar.


ETA:

You can click on the white circles at the top of the page and it auto-scrolls.
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"Omne ignotum pro magnifico"

PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 6:58 pm
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notgordian
Unfictologist


Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Posts: 1383
Location: Philly

I received an email with the same two pictures from the website, along with the following recruitment letter picture. The two emails were from "Gnome Choamsky" (gnome.choamskySPLATifilr.org), and as the letter explains, the two pictures were created by "Vick Bolshe."

Oddly, I received it to the email account I don't usually use for ARGs -- I must have been careless at some point.
gnomebeneficiary.jpg
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gnomebeneficiary.jpg


PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 7:23 pm
Last edited by notgordian on Tue Jul 06, 2010 7:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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thebruce
Dances With Wikis


Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 6897
Location: Kitchener, Ontario

I too received an email; two, actually, though I am at the moment indisposed on a bus, so if the contents aren't already posted, I will when I get home.
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ARGFest 2013 - Seattle! ARGFest.com


PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 7:24 pm
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janemcg
Boot


Joined: 26 Apr 2004
Posts: 63
Location: Berkeley, CA

I received the 2 emails as well!

... and they were awesome. I found the description of my previous heroics to be a rather apt resume, and figured the same would apply to most Unfictioners. ^_^ Love it!

PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 7:30 pm
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Chance
Veteran

Joined: 04 Feb 2009
Posts: 142
Location: Pittsburgh

/in

Filled out the Recruitment form, just waiting for the e-mail.

PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 7:32 pm
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Nighthawk
I Have 100 Cats and Smell of Wee


Joined: 14 Jul 2007
Posts: 4751
Location: Miami, Florida, USA, Earth

Guess I'm the single "special" one with the hardcopy materials.

I'll try to get them scanned as soon as possible.


FYI: In case you didn't know, "Gnome Choamsky" is close to the name of the gnome you have to save from the Dark Carnival campaign in Left 4 Dead 2 (I believe the one in game is with a "p" instead of an "a"; I'll have to check in game later).


I know PMs are reading this: I gotta say, your materials and images are nicely done and of high caliber. As stated, I'll try to do my best to not let you down in revealing all the materials.
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"Omne ignotum pro magnifico"

PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 7:38 pm
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thebruce
Dances With Wikis


Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 6897
Location: Kitchener, Ontario

The two propaganda posters are attached... (eta: which are of course also available at http://ifilr.tumblr.com )

Email 1:
Quote:
Subject: IFILR recruitment material: could you look it over?

(image posted above)

P.P.S. I am sending the transcript and the scan, just in case my handwriting is illegible. Also, please fix the link, I'm not very good with computers. I am also including the recruitment material that some of your prospective candidates should be getting soon. Also, I re-sent this; I didn't know if it went through last time.


Email 2:
Quote:
Subject: More IFILR recruitment

Gnomeatic,

Bah. I'm not good with this new computer you gave me. Here's that propaganda, I had to ask someone sitting next to me how to "attach" it. Very embarrassing, especially for a gnome like myself.

(two attached images)

Propaganda 1.jpg
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Propaganda 1.jpg

Propaganda 2.jpg
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Propaganda 2.jpg

_________________
@4DFiction/@Wikibruce/Contact
ARGFest 2013 - Seattle! ARGFest.com


PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 8:04 pm
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Tenshi Akui
Entrenched


Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Posts: 1003
Location: Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

Interesting and already has my attention. Signed up.

PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 8:38 pm
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jamesi
Sentient Being


Joined: 25 Sep 2002
Posts: 2195
Location: Canadia

Got two emails as well, same as others.
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Digital Trail | Twitter | Retired ARGFest-o-Con 2012 Project Manager

PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 9:01 pm
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Tenshi Akui
Entrenched


Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Posts: 1003
Location: Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

Didn't see this mentioned but I figured I'd let you guys know

Spoiler (Rollover to View):
If you click on the clipboard on the corkboard you get the about page with three sound files of members of the IFILR. Also the computer screen gives a search of sorts that says "Please Enter your IFILR Identity" with a Submit Query button.


PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 9:02 pm
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ninjaPhilanthropist
Veteran


Joined: 27 May 2010
Posts: 80
Location: Arizona

Nighthawk wrote:
FYI: In case you didn't know, "Gnome Choamsky" is close to the name of the gnome you have to save from the Dark Carnival campaign in Left 4 Dead 2 (I believe the one in game is with a "p" instead of an "a"; I'll have to check in game later).


Also: Noam Chomsky
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It seems, in this world, I either don't know enough, or I know way too much.

Really enjoyed Aguatero

Get at me on Hangouts.


PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 9:07 pm
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Nighthawk
I Have 100 Cats and Smell of Wee


Joined: 14 Jul 2007
Posts: 4751
Location: Miami, Florida, USA, Earth

Scans are upcoming. Let me process the files.

One thing I could kick myself for not seeing: there's a bar code on the 3x5" card. I don't have a smartphone, so if I can't run it through my barcode app I scanned it at 1200dpi for others to read.
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"Omne ignotum pro magnifico"

PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 9:23 pm
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