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| drizjr |
Add to FAQ
Hey, I wanna help, but I'm one of those paranoid people ascared of doing anything monetarily over the internet. Could I just mail you a check and ScarpeGrosse a big vat of vaseline?
 Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 6:55 pm |
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| SpaceBass |
Oh yeah, and if you want your name on the list linked to a website, add that into the comments field as well!
Guys, the response has been overwhelming so far, to say the least! Thank you so much for all of your support! Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 2:36 pm |
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| SpaceBass |
By the way, please remember to add your uF username to the comments field when donating, if you want personalized credit on the Contributors page and for weekly sponsorship announcements. Thanks!
 Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 10:36 am |
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| Gupfee |
Yes, we will be adding black merchandise soon. We just need to get the graphics prepared.
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 9:28 am |
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| schummbo |
One quick question that wasn't covered in your in depth FAQ
Is there any chance of getting a black UF hooded sweatshirt? I see that all of the merchandise is white. You know, for some of these games, if we really want to get into character, we can't possibly be expected to wear white! 
EDIT: (in response to below VV) Count me in then, I'll for sure be buying one! Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 9:19 am |
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| SpaceBass |
 Unfiction Needs Your Help!
Unfiction needs your help
Alternate Title: The Gettysburg Abscess Once upon a time, in a far off, granola-spackled land, lived a small boy who loved computers, machines, the internets and things that go tick-tock. "TICK!" he would say, all smiles, and then immediately parrot back to himself "TOCK!" He was a simple boy. And a small one. This small simple boy called himself Peppi, a short version of his real name, Geppetto, which he was unable to pronounce until age 21, due to an extremely rare condition called Tongulous maximus, which means he has a really huge tongue. This works in his favor shortly I promise, though you might have to read between the lines. Anyhow, Peppi's parents abandoned him at a young age, leaving him to wander the forests and plains, soliciting strange men and playing with the other boys (who had big Nintendo DS systems) and eat snackie cakes (mmmm snackie cakes) filled with delicious whiteness. One fine day as Peppi was prancing about in his pink heeled boots and pretty flippy ponytail, he tripped on his pointy toe and fell headfirst into a rabbit hole! Oh noes! Only this wasn't just any rabbit hole – This was the deepest, longest, darkest, most amazingly lifelike hole Peppi had ever entered. It was like an entirely different world! Even the people looked different! All robotic n' shiznit and alternative and intelligent and goth and wotnot and sweeeeeeet! Unfortunately, heeled pink booties are not the best footwear for exploring alternate realities, as alternate realities are part of the imaginary realm of the patron saint of quality footwear, and hence, the people only wear Birkenstocks and Danskos because the realities are also part of the imaginary realm of the patron saint of quality foothills and craggy dikes. The Dutch kind. But anyways, as he was partially hungover and stoned from his previous night of debauchery, tipsy on his tippytoes like a fat ballerina, Peppi broke his leg when he fell. Since Peppi's parents abandoned him long ago, and because the streets offer no insurance, Peppi had no way to get to the hospital so a doctor could stick that 3" chunk of femur protruding from his pale flesh back inside, and so he died a painful death by gangrene, which slowly coursed its festering bacterial goo through his little Peppi veins, while the little rabbits, and rats, and AIs, and everything else in the alternate reality picked his bones clean like he were some finger-lickin’ good KFC. Mmmm KFC. The Moral of the Story: Don't let uF end up like Peppi. Give us a hand – we need your insurance policy numbers and loving familial support. Or, you can just pretend uF is that strange toothless person who shakes that rattling McDonald’s cup at you every morning from behind the cardboard sign that says something like "Please Help" – only uF's sign says "Hostless – Please Help" and you're actually giving it eye contact. No, really. HEY! FAQ What the hell is that story about and what does it have to do with uF? It is plainly about Peppi, the simple boy from granola-land. Did you even read it? Jebus. We’re not doing this for our health, you know! Okay. Whatever. But that didn't answer my other question. You only get one question per question; those are the rules. And that wasn't even a question! Fine. So ANYWAY, how much does it cost to run this site? Up until the recent upgrades, just a few several thousand dollars [$1Kn] per year. However, the recent growth has increased costs substantially to a few more several thousand dollars [$1Kn * n] per year, and we expect them to keep rising. Because we are so poopular. Dammit. How have you been paying for it so far? For the first couple of years, SpaceBass just paid for it all himself. When I Love Bees hit, we were forced to upgrade to keep up with the traffic. At that point, SpaceBass started asking for donations and added the link at the bottom of the forum pages. Over the past two years, we've received enough to cover about forty percent of the hosting costs for the forums. Unfortunately, that's not going to be enough anymore and ScarpeGrosse has a severe case of pole-rash and has to take a break from the dancing, which means we're a little short for this month's rent. What's in it for me? Unfiction offers features to satisfy everyone! And new features are added daily, if by features one means to say "posts." Also, many ways are provided to make it easier to find those "posts," including proper organization, anal-retentive moderation, and advanced  Search technology! Plus, free spam deletion! Unfiction is for everyone, players and puppetmasters and both and neither! Look! You hear that? Unfiction purrs when you stroke it gently.
Um, okay then. How can I help? So glad you asked! There are a number of ways you can help. Most of them are relatively painless, according to our unscientific Study of The Matter (Note to Self: remember to register UnscientificStudy.com) conducted by our unscientific Scientist (Note to Self: ask him to call us after his CNN interview). Sadly none of these “ways” are currently available and you may also experience slight delays or settling during shipping, and in rare but serious cases, severe diarrhea. Seriously though, if you want to help, you could make a donation now, using the badge at the top of the page. If you’re interested in donating but can't afford it right this minute, we'll be setting up a mailing list where you can sign up with your future pledge, and receive periodic but courteous reminders which you may or may not act upon, and which may or may not contain small puzzle games or trace amounts of benzene. And if you can't donate at all, hey, that's okay too. We're not made of money either. In order to fully recognize the people who are helping to keep uF around for everyone to enjoy, we’ve added a page listing all of the donors who have contributed to Unfiction over the years, and will keep adding to it as donations roll in. uF benefactors will receive recognition in the Announcement Box as Weekly Sponsors for each multiple of $100 donated. Well, I was going to donate but isn't it kind of presumptuous of you to ask me to give you money to support your hobby? Er, well, yeah, we don't really like asking anyway. It's just that we kind of have to. We could use your help while we work on ways for Unfiction to pay for itself. All donations go directly towards the cost of running the forums. Regardless, it's not just our hobby, it's yours too. And yours, and yours, or you might not even be here right now. But you, it’s not yours, you just lurk and poach good domain names and write books about how much we suck and are mean to you and post links to your projects and press about them like this site is your personal advertising board. You can visit Peppi. The rest of you though, yeah, you're pretty cool. And we have the same hobby! Trepanation. Like what ''ways" are you working on? We've got a few ideas that we’ll start announcing in the next couple of weeks. One of them was to begin offering uF-branded merchandise, which is already available. These wonderful items make great gifts at birthday parties, bar and bat mitzvahs, and as freebie giveaways at the funerals of random strangers. (Please remember to be courteous when offering freebie giveaways, and always demand proper identification. These are not the droids you’re looking for.) Why don't you just start charging for access or plaster ads all over the site? We refuse to ever move to a subscription model. We are also opposed to advertising, despite the obvious fact that we play games…that are…essentially…advertising…. 
Ok, so honestly, we think putting advertising on the site would only make the forums more ugly and we really do enjoy empty space because it matches the insides of our heads. Hence, re: advertising - last resort. However, you will note that we have added a Google sponsored search box to both the search page and the sidebar, which may display ads on the search result page. We only receive money from those ads if users click through them, and they are not nearly as lucrative as would be Adwords displayed on the site, nor anywhere near as annoying. Also, they’re not actually on the site, so there. Hey, that's pretty neat! Plus, Google search is more effective than the built-in search. Yep! Not only that, but--hey! That wasn't a question! Hahaha, we got you! Son of a bitch. This FAQ doesn't make any sense. NOT A QUESTION! Sorry. This FAQ doesn't make any sense, am I right? Or am I right? No. Ultra-Short Summary of the Above for the Attentionally Challenged in Charming Numbered Lists: To Begin… 1. Peppi is in no way a representation of any staff or admin of UF, and certainly is not an embodiment of vpisteve in fictional form. 2. UnFiction is maintained thanks to the kind and generous donations by its members. 3. Increasing traffic and demand thanks to the popularity of ARGs and puzzles has increased UnFiction’s operating costs to a point that it is no longer feasible for SpaceBass to pay over 60% of the thousands it takes to run the site. 4. ScarpeGrosse has pole rash. Don’t ask, just send ointment. 5. In order to keep UnFiction running, your help is needed. How You Can Help uF: 1. Donate today! All donations go directly to maintaining uF. All generous donators will be recognized on the site. Donations of $100 or more will be recognized as Weekly uF Sponsors. 2. Wear uF! Visit the uF Store for uF apparel and merchandise. All proceeds go to maintaining uF. Plus, you’ll look damn sexy while sporting geek chic. 3. Stay tuned! uF has many fantastic new things to get involved in coming soon. These things may or may not involve special limited edition stuff and may or may not be totally freaking awesome. Time will tell, but our fingers are crossed. 4. Obey. Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 3:03 am |
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